dried-up?

eleven days now...but who's counting?
I wonder if I'll be able to be a proper fb
with this lad like I claimed I could?
only time will tell...

I read through our texts last night and one made me decision feel easier. I should've done that a long time ago just, I should've kept that text in mind 'cause then I wouldn't be in this mess, I wouldn't have a broken heart and I never would've said yes when he asked that crucial question.

that text made me think that if he can do that whilst in a relationship, he's not b/f-material and yet, here I am...
if he can lie about going on a date with another girl once...I mean, hello, we spent hours talking and he didn't mention a girlfriend at all! to me it felt like a perfect first date, man was I wrong!

perhaps that's what I needed? to be reminded of that text, how that made me feel, what suspicions it aroused to make me go towards angry from sad?

closer to getting over him then I suppose...

if I could just stay away from him aswell, I'd be on a roll here! I felt quite pleased with us not seeing eachother for two weeks, felt like the right thing, taking the time I needed to get over him and remaining grand mates.
only then he rang...told me he'll be home early Thursday, planning to go home, fetch his car then come pick me up and we could do a reprise of that romantic night by the sea.
do you think I said no? 'course not, I melted and heard meself giggle happily and say yes. the next thing I knew, I had the whole late night picnic planned.
tragic.