I know it's over.
I've known it's all over since Friday the 28th of August
and yet I fall into that world that seems to be from some grown up-version of nevereverland where it's all right, it's all perfect, it's all lovely and my heart feels like it's wrapped in babypink cotton candy.
then the bubble bursts when I realize, both to my own surprise and out loud, that I've fallen in love.
'cause apparently that's what the consequenses are in that world
and all that's left to wonder is:
where do all the tears come from?
I've known it's all over since Friday the 28th of August
and yet I fall into that world that seems to be from some grown up-version of nevereverland where it's all right, it's all perfect, it's all lovely and my heart feels like it's wrapped in babypink cotton candy.
then the bubble bursts when I realize, both to my own surprise and out loud, that I've fallen in love.
'cause apparently that's what the consequenses are in that world
and all that's left to wonder is:
where do all the tears come from?
I feel sick to my stomach. My inside is hurting more than my slipped discs. My world is turned upsidedown.
I keep crying although tears rarely fall.
I blame meself, how could I be so fucking stupid????!!
haven't I learned anything from passed experiences?? I'm not girlfriend-material, have we properly established that now or do I need more heartbreaks before enough's enough?
I'm not to fall in love, I'm the perfect rebound-chick, mate and fb... I'm not the sweet girl from next door that you introduce to your parents. Luckily enough, I got away with only hurting meself this time. as it happens, I'm not to see him for at least two weeks which should give me sufficent time to sort meself out, turn me world back around to normal, happy, single ME!
I haven't been this sad since T. is that a sign of age or is it a sign of dinkum? I miss HJ & RA, rebound-sex and yet I feel reluctant to.
I know he's happily exploring who to date next, so why do I let meself feel this way? these are my feelings aka my problem. no sense in burdening him with 'em, all I want is for him to be happy 'cause he's such a wicked lad and I do treasure the friendship I know we'll dearly keep from now on.
so although my heart hurt today, I gave him advice about a girl he fancies and tips on what to do on a date with her. I'll get over him soon enough. I just want him to fall in love with the right girl and be happy.
I know I'll be happy once I'm back to me normal, single, dating, fb:ing, emotionfree self.
geez, that sounded way more horrible than it is. promise.
I keep crying although tears rarely fall.
I blame meself, how could I be so fucking stupid????!!
haven't I learned anything from passed experiences?? I'm not girlfriend-material, have we properly established that now or do I need more heartbreaks before enough's enough?
I'm not to fall in love, I'm the perfect rebound-chick, mate and fb... I'm not the sweet girl from next door that you introduce to your parents. Luckily enough, I got away with only hurting meself this time. as it happens, I'm not to see him for at least two weeks which should give me sufficent time to sort meself out, turn me world back around to normal, happy, single ME!
I haven't been this sad since T. is that a sign of age or is it a sign of dinkum? I miss HJ & RA, rebound-sex and yet I feel reluctant to.
I know he's happily exploring who to date next, so why do I let meself feel this way? these are my feelings aka my problem. no sense in burdening him with 'em, all I want is for him to be happy 'cause he's such a wicked lad and I do treasure the friendship I know we'll dearly keep from now on.
so although my heart hurt today, I gave him advice about a girl he fancies and tips on what to do on a date with her. I'll get over him soon enough. I just want him to fall in love with the right girl and be happy.
I know I'll be happy once I'm back to me normal, single, dating, fb:ing, emotionfree self.
geez, that sounded way more horrible than it is. promise.
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